


State of Emergency

by ADyingFlower



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: (Or cup noodles), (mentioned really), Because Tyn loves it and I love Tyn, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Brief mentions of off-screen sex, Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, Exhibitionism, Fluff and Crack, Grocery Shopping, Gummi Bears, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Mentioned Dad!Cor, Multi, Prompto is so incredibly thirsty god, You don't get between a man and his coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:38:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADyingFlower/pseuds/ADyingFlower
Summary: Prompto is thirsty, Gladio is obsessed, Noct is tired, and Ignis is drunk.Or they run out of both cup noodles and Ebony, so it makes perfectly logical sense to grocery shop at four am to get the goods. They may have been a little drunk.





	State of Emergency

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tynxcann](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tynxcann/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TYN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
> 
> Ignore the fact that its two minutes before midnight.

“Prompto...Prompto get your ass up!” 

Said boy rolled over and shoved someone's arm over his head. “No,” He muttered petulantly, wrapping the blanket over him tighter without bothering to open his eyes. He had literally just fallen asleep, the fountain of energy the gummi bears had given him had long since worn off, and after playing D&D since probably the dawn of time, he was  _ tired _ . 

“Get up or I’ll eat the last of the special ultimately rare five star chocobo gysahl greens flavored chips.” 

Prompto was up in .2 seconds, launching his body from the pile of blankets into a full blown football tackle his father would have been proud of into the traitorous boyfriend who dared to eat the sacred holy chips he’s been luxuriously eating one chip per a day for the last two weeks. 

It was Gladio who threatened it. Of course. Gladio threatened a lot of things to a lot of people, it was a wonder he hasn’t had his ass handed to him yet, maybe Prompto should change that. 

Gladio’s eyes were wide, the whites of them almost green in the funky lighting of the glow fish plastered over the walls that was meant as a joke gift to Noctis but that he actually  _ liked _ . Astrals, he needed better boyfriends. 

“Prompto,” Gladio hissed, large ass hands gripping his shoulders with the desperation of a drowning man. “ _ We’re out of cup noodles _ .”

He  _ really  _ needed better boyfriends. 

“So you felt the need to wake us?” A warm hand curled around his waist and gently lifted him off Gladio’s chest and into his lap. Okay, so maybe  _ two  _ better boyfriends. 

“It’s an emergency!” Gladio flailed his hands, expression of sheer desperation. “We’ll starve at this rate!” 

One of his flailing hands smacked the sleeping Noctis straight in the face, who only snored in response. 

“That’s a talent you should only use for good.” Prompto whispered to him, receiving a weird look from Ignis. It was -- chancing a look on the bedside clock, he almost groaned at the bright “3:51” displayed in bright red -- okay, he was tired and exhausted from playing D&D all night, or until about an hour ago. 

“I understand your frustration,” Ignis began slowly, ignoring the “Starve!” from the clearly drunk shield. “But it's the middle of the night, we can run out in the morning -”

“We’re out of Ebony too.” 

In a flash, Prompto was dumped face first on the floor, legs sprawled awkwardly over the bed and precariously balancing on one hand. 

“Well, what are we waiting for?!” Ignis demanded, already pulling a shirt on over his…abs. For the sake of the rating, he’s going to skip over the many mouth watering descriptions running through his head and instead keep it short and simple. 

“Already ahead of you,” Gladio rumbled, shoes that looked more like they belonged in a military base that going to the nearest 24 hour supermarket for the much needed noodles and Ebony. 

Prompto sighed. He needed more gummy bears for this. 

From the bed, Noctis snored.

 

The phone clock read four am, and after getting dressed (and convincing Gladio that the world wasn’t ready for the sheer might of his abs) they all trudged towards the nearest store, as Iggy was in no way capable of driving if the way he was walking was any indicator. 

With the combined efforts of the three of them, they managed to wake Noctis up and drag him out of bed, though he was currently hanging off Gladio’s back with the glazed look of someone preferring death to this. 

“Me too buddy, me too.” He whispered, ignoring everyone’s weird looks. Him and Noct, they speak on a telepathic level, his boy totally knows what he means. 

...or maybe not.

“Aren’t you out of Ebony?” He asks Ignis, who was currently striding next to him in his unfair heeled shoes that made his legs unfair. 

He might be a bit thirsty. 

“Yes.” Ignis tilted his head in agreement, the thermos in his hand only highlighting how unfairly pretty his hands were. 

Prompto narrowed his eyes. “...Than what are you drinking?” 

Ignis didn’t answer, instead keeping eye contact as he took a long, slow sip of his drink. 

It was too late - or early - for this, he decided. Shoving another fistful of gummies in his mouth, he reasoned that if he couldn’t beat them, he might as well join them. 

Eventually, the delicious mouth watering scent of gummies awoke Noctis from his sleeping beauty kind of slumber, sliding off Gladio’s back with the grace of a zombie and lumbering towards the foot long container of gummies he was lugging around in his arms. It was a good weight training practice, maybe he should do this instead of those stupid dumbbells he had to lift in the gym while next to him Gladio chest pressed three hundred pounds. 

Let him have his inferiority complex, okay? Even if it was really hot, especially when he was shirtless and dripping in sweat…

“You’re drooling, Prompto.” Ignis reminded him, taking another sip of mystery drink X. 

He wiped his mouth, shoving the gummies in Noct’s general direction as the Prince tried to stick his entire face into the container, though only managing to stick the lower part in. 

Then…. _ it  _ happened. 

“Noct, Noct!” He didn’t squeal, he is a  _ man _ . But it was a damn near thing as the building got closer in the distance. 

Many, many,  _ many  _ years ago, back when his father was still a youngin’ (he knows, probably something like three hundred years ago) there was a store that was all the rage. Expanding upon Kenny’s Crows Nests popularity, the hilariously balding CEO decided to create what was once known as the  _ Super Kenny.  _ Selling everything from toys to the freshest produce this side of Insomnia (even though there was like twelve sides thanks to the weird ass walls), it was all the rage back when his dad was like...twenty. 

Gross. 

Anyhow, it was super popular, everyone and their mother loved Kenny and visited that store like it was a religious sermon of a cult and to do otherwise would mean your throat was slit in your sleep. 

Until the much hated horror movie,  _ Kenny Returns: The ghost of the milk _ aisle, was released. __ Either because of the incredibly awful CGI or the actual well thought out logistics of how a human came back as a reanimated Kenny Crow costume that killed on only certain days in horrific manners, the chain store started declining in business. 

And here it was, in all its glory. The last of its kind. Prompto fell to his knees, hands clasped in a prayer in front of the neon letters that made him vaguely feel like he was having a really bad trip. 

Which, of course, he’s never experienced. He’s a saint, honestly. 

A gummy fell out of Noct’s mouth as he lands on his knees next to him. “When I die, I want to be buried here, right under the scent of abandonment and food grease.” 

Ignis sighed, pushing up his glasses as he lightly kicked their backs in a reminder to get up. “We’re not burying you under a Super Kenny.”

Noct cast a look over his shoulder at Gladio, smiling wickedly at the faintly disheveled older man. “Gladio, I want you to be the one to bury me.” 

Knowing where this was going, Prompto subtly offered his hand for a fist bump, and Noct took it with a shit eating grin. 

Gladio sighed, reaching down to heft Prompto up by his waist and slung him over his shoulder firearm carry. The sheer impatience of getting cup noodles seemed to have worn off now they were in the relative safety of the parking lot. “Why, Noct.”

“So you can let me down one last time.” Prompto broke into hysterical giggles, shoving his hand into his back pocket to grab some more hidden gummies, ignoring Ignis’ disgusted look as he shoved them in his mouth. 

With an oof, Noct was thrown over Gladio’s other shoulder, the two of them trading twin looks and smiling. 

Oh, they were going to make Iggy and Gladio  _ pay  _ for waking them up for stupid cup noodles, even if they were kinda good. 

See? They  _ were  _ telepathic. 

Entering the Super Kenny, both of the younger boys attention was taken by the yellow car near the entrance by the cashier register. 

Not an actual, yellow car, if you were wondering. No, these two idiots were admiring one of those kiddie rides, 50 cents for the sticky hell of its previous owners. 

“DIBS!” Both of them screamed at the same time, fighting against the hold Gladio had on them. Noctis managed to procure a pencil from fuck where and warped the shit away from them, while Prompto neatly flung himself out of Gladio’s grip by positioning his hand on Gladio’s broad shoulders  _ holy fuck pin him to a wall  _ and kicking his legs up to flip over into a full-blown sprint.

Hey, he’s the marshal's kid, he’s gotta have learned  _ something _ .  

“Ha!” Noct bragged, already shoving his scrawny ass into the yellow contraption of death while Prompto pouted outside, bemoaning about the unfairness of warping and royalty. 

The cashier just blinked at them while Ignis muttered a quiet apology under his breath, taking another swing from his drink. 

Ignis popped in a few coins for Noct, seeing that the Prince had gotten stubborn about it, and when he got stubborn about wanting to sit in a death contraption, he would sit there until he got what he wanted. No one needed a repeat of the Ferris wheel incident. Prompto heard King Regis was apparently in a complete panic about it and never visited an amusement park since.

Glancing over at Noct’s shit eating grin, he figured that was kind of the point. 

He was shoving another gummy in his mouth just as Gladio decided he also wanted to ride, albeit backwards and legs hooked in the open car doors as he sat on the ‘hood’. 

Ignis shot him a look when he made a move to join them. “Prompto, that machine can barely support Gladio’s weight, nevermind Noct’s as well. Adding you to the mix -”

Why were they here again? Oh yeah, ebony and cup noodles. Ignoring Ignis, he skipped his way over to the kiddie ride, looking over it once before deciding, you know, fuck it. Within moments, he had clambered onto the roof of the car, taking a proud little seat on top as it rocked almost like a boat underneath him, if a bit worrying sounding and making sadistic siren whirls every now and again. 

“Ya hear that Noct?” He asked cheerily, flipping himself over so he was hanging upside down right in Noct’s face, grinning a bit evilly at his shriek. Payback, bitch. “We might end up breaking this, you're the one who’s gotta pay for it!”

“Technically, you’re the one who's going to get payed for it considering your tax money is my allowance.” Noct pointed out, neatly avoiding a kick from a barely holding on Gladio. 

“Oh, fuck you.” 

Noct grinned, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “No, fuck you.” 

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me.”

“Fuck you?”

“Fuck me.”

“Fuck you.” 

The two of them smiled at each other, Noct leaning forward to give him a small spiderman style kiss, which was actually kind of…awesome. He always wanted to do that. 

And small may have been an understatement, if the amount of tongue involved was any indicator. Eventually, when Noct began panting softly in his mouth and there was so much blood rushing to his head he was probably a tomato, Ignis broke them apart physically, his face scarlet. 

“That’s quite enough,” He coughed, looking rather uncomfortable with the forced show if Prompto didn’t know better. As if. If there was one thing Prompto prided himself in it was that he was a kinky fucker, and that he could recognize one when he saw one. 

A glance at Gladio saw much of the same thing, giving him the brightest idea since someone decided to name a capital ‘Insomnia’. “How hard would it be to convince you all to have changing room sex with me?”

“I’m down with it if you are.” “Absolutely not!” “Let’s go. You, me, changing room, now.” 

Ignis sent the three of them such astonished looks that better men might have felt ashamed of themselves. But neither of them were better men, so they all traded silent high fives as Ignis stormed off to get the carriage, utterly ignoring the three of them and the not so discreet ass smacks, to the horror of the unfortunate bystander cashier of seeing the future King getting his face sucked off spider man style by his commoner ‘friend’. 

“Cup noodles and Ebony, then we’re leaving.” Ignis spat out when he caught up with them, drinking once more from his suspiciously full cup. Prompto narrowed his eyes, wondering if there was a flask or something in his jacket. 

Ignis barely gave them any time to catch up before he was charging down the aisle, not even blinking when Noctis warped from with the pencil from fucks nowhere into the carriage, settling right down comfortably in the carriage as if it was the world's most comfortable bed. Gladio chose to walk alongside Prompto, their hands linking easily between them. 

As they made their way to the food aisle, Prompto spotted  _ it _ . 

Before Gladio could even blink, his partner was gone and hefting a child sized chair probably the size of his throne in hideous shades of off pink and yellow. 

“ _ A throne fit for a king _ ,” He whispered, and Noct was only too accepting of getting out of the carriage (by warping, mind you) so Prompto could shove the throne chair right in there, for his convenience. 

At this point, Ignis was flat out ignoring them, eyebrows scrunched up in a way that meant his mind was revolving around his true love, Ebony. At least the three of them knew where they stood when it came to that beverage. 

“This too,”  _ Gladio  _ joined them, picking up a large cup noodle hat from the horrid abyss of the children’s section and shoving it on Noct’s head.

Noct peered up at him, gaze wise beyond his years. “ _ Why _ .”

“Why  _ not _ .”

“Noodles!” Ignis proclaimed loudly, braking suddenly in front of what was indeed the cup noodle aisle and - 

Wow, Prompto doesn’t think he’s ever seen Gladio run so fast before in his life. 

Gladio came full on sprinting towards them with an armful of cup noodles, only pausing just long enough to dump them all in Noct’s lap from where he was sitting on his throne. 

Cracking open the gummy container like it was popcorn, Prompto watched with amused eyes as Gladio challenged the Olympic world record as he sprinted back and forth between the cup noodle rack and Noct’s lap, dumping what must have been hundreds of the ultimate noodle experience. 

A tug on the back of his shirt alerted to another presence in the room. Well, more like the hand sliding up under his shirt and resting possessively on his hip bone, one finger barely teasing under the belt of his jeans. 

“You don’t mind a quickie in bathroom, now do you, darling?” Ignis muttered low and sure in that damn unfair sexy voice of his. Prompto nodded eagerly, more than happy for a quickie just the two of them, even if he was still kinda pissed at being dragged out at ass o’clock in the morning. Maybe if he asks real nice he can get Ignis to do the thing with the tongue he did last time…

 

“That was a long bathroom trip,” Noctis answered with an amused smirk, lap absolutely covered in cup noodles with an glaringly suspicious empty shelf next to him. Gladio was panting slightly, a fine sheen of sweat over his stupid half open shirt that if Prompto just didn’t have his brains sucked out of him it might have encouraged him for a round two. 

Who was he kidding, he had the libido of a teenager. He was totally down for another round. 

Ignis just pushed up his glasses, looking more refined than one should for just having semi-public sex with one of his boyfriends in a supermarkets bathroom. “I have no idea what you mean.” Despite that, he was smirking the smallest bit as he started pushing the carriage, this time towards the coffee section where he could get his fix, the addict. 

Gladio crossed his arms, looking a bit petulant for missing what was probably a spectacular view of both his boyfriends getting it on. 

“Don’t worry, Gladdy.” He hummed, patting one of Gladio’s…spectacular biceps. “You can do me when we get home, if it makes you feel any better.” 

Gladio sighed, but a small smile was on his face as he patted his head. “Nah, you get some sleep when we get home. I’ll just ask his royal lazy over there.” 

Prompto smiled back, easily linking their hands as they quickened their pace to catch up with Ignis. “And sleep through that wonderful opportunity?” 

“Even if I told you to?” 

He shivered. Yeah, they’ll keep that one on the books. Watching for once might not seem so bad, maybe, if Gladio kept talking like that.

Psh, little him. Calm down!

They caught up with Ignis just as he finished dumping another shelf full of ebony on top of Noct’ floundering and practically drowning him the sheer number of containers until only his feet and head above his nose was visible. 

“I believe we are done here.” Ignis stated curtly, adjusting his askew shirt collar that was showing the beginning stages of a collection of hickeys and reaching into his jacket to pull out a silver flask, dumping it straight from the get go into his thermos with a casual air. 

“What?” He asked when he finally noticed two and a half people staring at him. Neatly dropping the flask back into the hidden pocket, Prompto just about winced when he heard the metal colliding against several others no doubt there. “If you think I can handle all your nonsense this early in morning without some liquid courage, you are gravely mistaken.”

From the pile of Ebony and cup noodles alike, Prompto heard what sounded like a snore. 

 

The cashier just about had a heart attack when she noticed the sheer amount of items were stuffed into the carriage, and it only got worse when she unearthed enough to make out the fact the fucking Prince of fricken Lucis was fucking sleeping at the bottom of a Solheim aged carriage. 

“Ignore it,” Ignis remarked almost casually, but just about anything Ignis said could be taken as a threat if heard in the slightly different pitch, so it wasn’t to anyone’s surprised she almost fainted right there and then. 

The humiliation only got worse when he realized she was also the cashier who was watching him make out with the Prince in a kiddie ride. 

Well...You only live once?

When Ignis put the cup noodle hat on the black spinny thing of death he once almost lost a finger too, she bursted into tears. 

Nevermind. Let him regret living and quit his job, become a hermit in the mountains and never talk to humans ever again. 

“You wouldn’t survive one day without us.” Gladio said, and it was only then he realized he was talking out loud and that the lady looked close to tears again. 

“How so?” He asked, honestly curious.

“Bugs.” Was all Gladio said, laughing at his disgusted expression as he shuttered, one hand desperately clutching at those biceps to remind himself of happier times. 

 

Walking home with a bunch of bags? Not fun.

Walking home while watching Gladio effortlessly hold half of them and a sleeping Noct? Made things  _ so  _ much more bearable. 

Listening to Noct and Gladio get it on in the spare bedroom as probably some sort of divine punishment for having a quickie with Ignis without them?  _ The literal opposite of fun _ . 

Ignis patted his hand consolingly as another ridiculoudly loud moan Noct only makes when he’s  _ really  _ into rang through the wall. 

Stuffing a pillow over his ears and willing his hard-on away, he tried his best to at least get an hour of sleep before  _ they all have to go to work in the morning _ .

  
  



End file.
